Friday, November 14, 2014

My Oklahoma Trip!

Some of you might know that I went to Oklahoma to visit my mother last month around the time of my birthday. I met with a ton of my friends and family but sadly didn't meet up with everyone that I wanted because of limited time. 

My main activities were shopping and eating. I honestly didn't do anything else. Haha.

I bought all my vintage from Cheap Thrills (my absolute favourite vintage shop in Tulsa) and  the shoes were from Ross Dress for Less (I wish there was a Ross in Upstate New York). And my mom gave me the Silvertone radio and Starline suitcase!

I also bought some embroidery patterns and supplies from Owl&Drum.

Not to mention, I celebrated my 28th birthday while there and my chinese food takeout wished me a Happy Birthday. 

Sorry I haven't updated with a recent outfit post in a while. It's been terribly cold and I've been a baby about taking photos outdoors! But, I'll post more regularly soon. 

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Why I don't speak to my father.

As my upcoming trip to Oklahoma approaches, I've been thinking about my father more and more. It's not something I like, but it's there because Oklahoma is where my family lives and thus, my father. And I know it's something that people don't talk about, estrangement from family members. Airing dirty laundry and all that, but I feel like more people should talk about it. That way those of us that do shut out a parent don't feel quite alone in doing so.

I've been estranged from my father since my wedding in 2011. I decided to cut him out of my life not because I want to cause him harm but to prevent more harm caused to me. When I first learned that my father was cheating on my mother (though I didn't really know how to process or recognize what it was then), I was in the 8th grade. I had to do a paper on the computer for a class and I found screenshots of naked women from Yahoo! Messenger. I remember it very clearly because the woman has a flower (possibly a rose?) on her front shoulder. I remember closing the computer after deleting everything I found and tried to just forget about it because I didn't really comprehend what I was seeing. I convinced myself that it was a mistake that it was there and just deleted it. But, every time I would go on the computer I would find more.

That's when a password was put on the computer by my father.

I remember when I was quite little, my dad took my brother and I to Eastland Mall to get my brother a video game but it wasn't his birthday or anything. I got really upset that my brother was getting something and I wasn't and asked for a Tweety bird stuffed animal. I couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 and I threw a tantrum and ended up getting it anyway but my dad made me feel horrible about it. Later, I found out that when my mom found my dad's porn stash, he'd bribe my brother to take the fall by buying him video games.

When we got a DVR for the television, I would find porn recorded. Since I was brought up very very strictly, I deleted it every time I saw it... which happened to be very frequently. Then, my dad got a separate external hard drive for his porn so I wouldn't find it on the DVR.

Since before I can remember, my father always said horrible things about my mom to me. He'd say she was such a bitch and a vain horrible person and my brother was just like her. But, I was just like him and he was so happy that he had me to talk to. And of course I was happy to be spending time with my dad and maybe I was angry at my mom for something inconsequential like having to clean my room or do the dishes or do housework. So, at first I liked the attention my dad was giving me and felt great that he talked to me like an adult. However, as I grew older the things he was saying didn't match up to the things I was seeing. Sure, my mom accused him of cheating, but it ended up being true. He was cheating. He did look at other women while we were out. He did say insensitive things to her. Of course she'll have something to say about that.

As I went away to college, I started to distance myself from my dad because all he would talk about was how horrible my mom was and how he wishes he could just divorce her. But, he wanted to wait until my Mema and Deda (my mom's parents) were dead so he could get the inheritance money and then leave her. So, I would stay in my room every time I visited home if my mom wasn't there. I just didn't want to hear it.

Then, when my mom announced she wanted to divorce my father because he was cheating on her, my father sat me down on the bed and said, "You don't believe I would cheat on your mother, right?" And made me feel like the horrible person for thinking such a thing of him. He sat me down on my bed and looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I thought he would cheat on my mom.

I did believe he was cheating on my mother. I found web profiles with his name and information with a photograph of his penis on it looking for hook ups with women in the Tulsa area. I found those screenshots when I was in the 8th grade on the family computer. And later, I found out he was seeing a woman at the time named Melissa (whom he married VERY shortly after getting divorced) and she was coming over to the house while my mom worked her second job at night. I learned this not only from my mom but from the neighbors. They had seen her. He wouldn't let my mom see his activity on the cell phone bill, as well. That is when I started to really believe he was a cheating arsehole. I was in complete denial before that. But the fact that he wouldn't let my mom have access to his phone activity on his cell phone confirmed that he was hiding something (I know, I know... but I was in denial.. I wanted to think the best of my dad). He would also tell me he had to go "out" and wouldn't tell me where he was going and not return for hours.

All the while my dad kept saying, "I never cheated on your mom! I'm the victim! She abused me not the other way around!" He still keeps up with these lies to this day.

And that is why I am estranged from my father. I have forgiven him for what he's done, but I won't let that kind of manipulation into my life. And I'm positive he tells everyone who will listen that I don't talk to him anymore because my mom tells me "lies"... but that is simply not true. I don't speak to my father because of the things I witnessed myself. Sadly, my brother believes everything my dad says and thus is not a part of my life either.

Emotional abuse is still abuse and that is exactly what my father put our family through. 

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Younger than Springtime.

Today, my husband and I helped at my in-law's church for Lemonade on the Lawn after service as a favor to my mother-in-law since she's up in Maine at the moment. It gave me the opportunity to wear my favourite sheer 1950s dress! 
The coral colour really reminds me of the decade and pairing it with light accessories is essential. I went with the nude shoes because I felt black would just make everything look too heavy.

Love how my tattoo looks through it!

dress-Ruby Fayes Vintage sunglasses-Fossil Outlet

I love the rhinestone buttons and it's so great that they're nice and clear instead of how old rhinestones sometimes get cloudy with age.
Pearl didn't seem too enthused to be in my outfit photos. Ha, she had a pretty rough morning because of her separation anxiety of not getting to go into church with us. But she was an honorary guest at Lemonade on the Lawn in her bag!

Monday, August 18, 2014


There are several things I'm grateful to my mother for and having good manners is one. She always told me when I wasn't behaving properly and followed with a good example. I'm not saying this is how everyone should behave, I'm just saying that this is how I behave.

1. Always arrive on time or early

Whenever my mom had to be somewhere for an appointment, we were always early. We'd arrive thirty to forty minutes early every time. To this day, I'm always early to appointments or social events and if I'm late or someone else makes me late, it really annoys me because of this ingrained moral I grew up with.

The reason behind this is so that you won't miss anything at your destination or make anyone else have to wait on you to arrive to begin.

2. Always Be Kind To Your Waiter and Tip!

There is very little else that I dislike more than someone who is a complete douche to their waiter. This person is being paid to serve you, yes. But, if you feel like you can treat them with complete disrespect, I will never eat or speak with you again. It doesn't matter how nice you are to me, if you're horrible to anyone in the service industry, I won't associate with you again.

I remember growing up and we dined with a family after church on Sundays frequently and every single time one man would start a huge scene saying how horrible the food was or some other complaint until finally he'd get the whole meal and that of his family's for free. It didn't matter that he ate everything and loved every bite in reality, he just wanted to make enough noise so that he'd get it for free. This was the perfect example growing up that taught me never to do this.

Tipping is also important because you never know if all the tips are being split amongst everyone. If you have really really horrible service make a formal complaint to the manager but still tip (and tip well)!

3. Never say, "No offense, but..."

9 times out of 10, if you say "No offense, but..." "This is only my opinion, but..." "I don't mean to insult, but..." or something equivalent, anything you have planned on adding at the end of that but, will be offensive. Like I said, this isn't always the case, however if you find yourself about to say something that will piss someone off, keep it to yourself.

My general rule of thumb is if I have to preface something like that, I'll just keep it to myself. And probably tell my husband later because he loves me and knows I'm not a terrible person. This applies to both in real world situations and online.

Though, I have replied with those words before online in response to someone who used it on me before in a snarky sarcastic manner to maybe open their eyes on how that looks... Sadly, it didn't work and the original comment poster became offended! Imagine that!

So, just don't say it or use it. If you have something you need to say to someone that you know will make them angry and you have to say it anyway (who knows why), just say it instead of beginning the statement with something stupid. And if you do want to preface it with something like that, then don't get mad if that person gets offended. A bit unrealistic, no?

4. Know When To Speak Up

If you witness that someone is being mistreated, know when to speak up in order to make an impact.

This is very situational. This can come in handy when you witness sexism, racism, or just a regular inappropriate correspondence.

For example, if you see a woman being mistreated in a sexist manner by a huge group of men and you're a woman as well, go to the HR department and make a complaint if it's just comments. If there is violence, call the police. But, speak up.

If you witness any form of racism, speak up. Don't let that crap fly. If violence is involved, call the police.

But lets say, someone you've never met has contacted you about a personal matter with your family. You've never met this person. You've never spoken with this person. And yet, they have a need to let you know exactly what they think.

For example, my estranged father's wife (they got married shortly after my parents were divorced), sent me an email telling me it was time to forgive my father and I was being childish in refusing to be a part of his life. I responded in a very polite manner telling her it wasn't her place to tell me what I should do, but that it wasn't a matter of forgiveness (which I already have) but that I had other reasons for not being in contact with him (namely not wanting to be a part of a toxic manipulative relationship).

That is when you should know not to put your two cents in. If you've never met with the person before, or even spoken with them before, don't butt in because your opinion doesn't matter to them. And sadly, you might actually make matters worse.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Stormy weather yesterday.

Since it seemed like it was going to downpour at any time yesterday, I didn't bring along my camera to show you our progress of window shopping in the Capital District. My husband, Pearl and I ended up going to the Fort Orange General Store and walked around downtown Troy to look at a few shops (Henry Loves Betty, Dang! That's Cherry, and Market Block Books).

Out of the window shopping, we only bought local honey and dog poo bags that smell like mint even though I wanted to buy so much more. I saw a vintage blue hat with the sweetest pearl buttons for $25 that I wanted so bad. I promised not to spend anything there before going in, and I regretted saying it immediately upon going inside! And I wanted to buy all the doggie sweaters at Henry Loves Betty! She hand knits them and they're amazing. Next time I go over there, I'm getting one for Pearl.

In consolation, here's what I wore while shopping!

  Dress+bolero-DaisysVtgClothesLine belt-Target shoes-Payless forever ago

I have to say for the billionth time since I've had my hair cut, I'm loving my new Bettie Page bangs!


Friday, August 15, 2014

I finally read Outlander.

My mother-in-law has been trying to get me to read Outlander by Diana Gabaldon for quite a while. I had always meant to read it, but always got distracted by other books that I wanted to read instead (ie-Anything by Neil Gaiman). And after seeing that a new show on Starz was putting out Outlander, I decided it was time. 

Plus, the fact that everything is set in two different time periods both of which I love, who couldn't resist? And in Scotland no less!

Claire, the heroine, falls back in time to 1745 Scotland while on her 2nd honeymoon with her husband Frank Randall during 1945. She's trying to reconnect with him after 7 years apart during the war where she was a nurse and he was a soldier.

1940s Claire

1740s Claire

 There is everything you can imagine in this novel, intrigue, love, marriage, sex, and a witch trial!

 I've waited so long to read this novel because of the fact that it's genre is Romance. I also couldn't imagine traveling back in time already married and falling in love with a Scotsman and sleeping with him (after they were married of course). But, everything was so well thought out and logical! Once I continued reading, I slowly began to believe why she did it and how it happened and it was all very very much understandable.

Imagine being sent back in time two hundred years as a woman! There are things you have to just give the poor lady some leeway.

As I'm super immature, there was only one time I laughed while reading one of the sex scenes... but that was because "slippery cleft" sounded so comical to me. I apologize, I might be 10 years old.

If you're not squeamish about reading about loving sex inside of marriage, bloody fights and injuries, accusations of witchery, then I suggest you go buy this book immediately and start reading! I'm already on the second book and I love it.

I also watched the first episode of Outlander on Starz, and it's my new favourite show. So get on that too.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Vintage family photos.

Even though I don't call as often as I should, I do love my Grandma. Sadly, since I have moved from Oklahoma to Upstate New York, I haven't been able to see my family as much as I would like. Plus, the avoidance of seeing my father over personal matters and indiscretions on his part, I haven't been able to see this side of the family in quite a while. I'll be remedying this later this Fall though.
I found these photos on my uncle's Facebook and thought they would be great to share with you all.

 My Grandma and her sister as children.


  My Grandma as a teenager.

My grandma's wedding photo.

 Everyone's Sunday best.

My Great Grandma Wilky.

My Great Grandpa Wilky.

My Great Grandpa with a few of my uncles playing dominoes.

My Great Grandma. <3

Ponca City, Oklahoma after a particularly bad snowstorm!

One of my uncles looking particularly adorable.
Also, I'd like to add that I found out that Lauren Bacall passed away yesterday at age 89. 

"[Katharine Hepburn] was much stronger, much more opinionated than I am or ever was, and it was considered attractive on her. But not on me. I don’t know. Maybe her Bryn Mawr accent was more appealing than mine."

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Robin Williams was my childhood.

I'm taking a break from my normal blog post subject matter today in honor of Robin Williams. I was on the phone with my husband as he was coming home from work when I saw the news on my Facebook newsfeed. I exclaimed, "What?! No, it can't be true." But, the sad reality is that it was true. Robin Williams is dead.

When thinking of my childhood, Robin Williams made a huge impact. I can't tell you how many times I've watched


Mrs. Doubtfire,



Dead Poets Society, and so many more.

If he was in a film, I watched it! He seemed like the kind of guy you wanted to know in real life and it would be pretty awesome to meet one day just because he seemed like such a great guy.

My heart goes out to his family and close friends.

Rest in peace.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Happy 7th Birthday, Pearl!

Pearl is seven years old today, which is pretty apt since it's National Spoil Your Dog Day!

We decided to have lunch with my husband, then afterwards I brought her to Petsmart (the only pet supply store around where my hubby works) to get her a couple of birthday presents. 

Here she is in her birthday hat that I made just for her. Lol!

I bought her two presents, one-a Kong toy that she immediately loved and two-a Martha Stewart Pets bunny. I especially got the Kong Marathon toy because she tends to eat chew toys whole when she should just slobber on it until it's gone. This seems to be working wonders and I love that I can get refills for it. She's currently chewing and slobbering all over it. I think this will be her new chew toy we set out when we go out without her!

I had plans to go out on a picnic blanket and read while she frolics outside, but it's simply too hot. She's enjoying her new Kong toy anyway! Haha

Sunday, August 10, 2014

I was never the girl next door.

My husband, Pearl and I went to Laura's Vintage today and I walked out wearing a different outfit than the one I wore in. I couldn't really help myself since once I put it on, I didn't want to take it off again. 

 Dress&Belt-Laura's Vintage Cateye sunglasses-Fossil

Has anyone else encountered the sad reality of after having your hair done at the salon, once you wash it, you cannot for the life of you recreate it? That happens every time for me especially when it gets straightened. I ended up deciding to leave my hair with my natural waves with my new Bettie Page bangs. I think I tamed the bangs fairly well and added a houndstooth hair scarf for fun. 
Brooches-Laura's Vintage

I ended up buying a new brooch as well. I came in wearing the bow but the daisy really appealed to me and pinned both onto my dress so I wouldn't lose them!

Laura, who owns Laura's Vintage, gave me this little magnet figurine because it reminded her of Pearl! Isn't it just too cute?

Next time I go to her shop, I'll make sure to bring my camera so that you'll get to see the place. It's my favourite vintage shop in the Capital District!

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Bettie Bangs!

bettie page

After watching Bettie Page Reveals All, I started to think whether or not getting Bettie Bangs was a good idea for me. So, of course I went to Facebook to ask everyone who pays attention to me, what I should do. (By the way, I highly recommend watching that documentary because it was simply amazing. It really gave a better perspective of the Real Bettie Page than the biopic movie the Notorious Bettie Page ever did)

It was a pretty much unanimous Yes!

I shot my hairstylist, Halie Jay, a message once I acquired some extra dough and made an appointment at Patsy's Pin Ups.



By the way, she bought that dress at L.L.Bean! She looked absolutely adorable!

white schnauzer

Pearl patiently waiting for me to be done with my hair with my husband on the bench nearby.

bettie page

bettie page

I absolutely love them! I can't wait to be able to play around while styling my hair.